Tuesday, March 24, 2009

i know my resume word for word by now.

(list above courtesy of unemploymentality.com)

Here's what mine looks like:

1) Wake up panic-stricken at 4AM with an overwhelming sense of insignificance, but then fall back asleep because depression is exhausting.

2) Sleep in until 9:30AM, then stare at the ceiling for 20-30 minutes.

3) Let the dog outside to pee, poop and bark at passers-by.

4) Turn on KALX for eccentric, amazing and/or painfully annoying music while preparing breakfast: fried egg, black coffee with turbinado, toast with Earth Balance.

5) Eat breakfast in front of the computer while checking my 3 email accounts and then log-on to facebook, myspace, yelp, blogspot, fark in attempts to continue being in touch with the world.

6) Do #5 for 2-3 hours.

7) In addition, for 2-3 hours, feverishly scan Craigslist, Indeed, and Monster for a job, "any*" job!!

8) Decide to "do something with myself"
- Create perfectly aligned rows of light beige and dark beige carpet while vacuuming
- brush my teeth
- make the bed
- feed and walk the dog
- create natural household cleaners, especially one for the shower curtain
- do the dishes (only applies when they are piled up too high or if something smells)
- consider sweeping and dusting

9) Look at the clock once the door knob starts to turn - it's 4:30 and Tim's home!! YAY!

REPEAT x74 days... and counting...

Since March 9th, I formed a group called "The Walking Unemployed". Essentially, we are a group of people frustrated-with-the-job-market, bored-as-hell, can't-stand-this-weight-gained-sitting-on-my-ass-waiting-for-an-employer-to-call-back who want to meet similar minded people. We meet every weekday morning at 10:30 for coffee and a brisk 2-8 mile walk in various parts of Oakland. This group has saved my sanity by giving me reason to get up and get moving. I can insert this in between #4 and #5 on my list.

* with the exception of fast food service, telemarketing, live-in caregiving, tutoring, and envelope sealing.


kasha said...

LOVE this post, melissa! you're my unemployed hero. i wish our unemployment stints had overlapped - i would love to be your walking buddy and definitely relate to everything on your list. did i tell you i mentioned your DIY shower curtain cleaner to the washington post last week?

melissa said...

thanks, kasha!
washington post, eh? i just made a new batch: combine, shake, spray, sit, rinse. so far, so good!

The Wehrweins said...

Awwww! Poor Melissa! :( Are you done with your classes? did you hear Ty and I got a puppy? check out our blog for a photo of this little cutie! I miss you guys!

love- Manda